Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Not so good at doing anything more than about twice.

Okay, so I have proved the above statement time and again. Does that mean I won't have another kid? lol

I wonder often if there are other people like myself out there. I have never met anyone like me.

I would love to teach myself to be dedicated to something. I have always had a problem with getting done what I am supposed to do. I take care of my kids, but I can't remember to take my medicine (daily vitamin or otherwise). I have to rely on my phone (when I remember to put information in it) or other people to remind me of my obligations. I can make myself get up and exercise a couple of days and then I loose interest. I can go on a cleaning spree for a few days and then it quickly gets out of hand again. I know that all these things are irresponsible and it isn't something I like about myself, and yet here I am at 26 years old and it is still a problem. I can remember getting in trouble all through school for knowing I had homework and yet not remembering to bring my book home that I needed to do that homework. How do I change this aspect when changing it requires the very thing that I don't have and am trying to change?

Of course then I can think about it for a minute and think, prayer, duh! I know the answer. I know that is the only way it will change. And yet I can't make myself get up early enough for daily quiet time for more than a week and I can't remember to say my prayers half the time before I fall asleep. I don't get up early enough for church most weeks and THAT is not just hurting me but my kids and my husband as well. I can manage Life Group on Thursdays so far. : ) I am so thankful that I at least have that.

Wow. It amazes me what comes out of my head when I let it. I am typically a very happy go lucky person but with all that weighing on my mind no wonder I have been a little melancholy lately.

So here I go to try a little harder this week to get myself straightened out. I have to go take my son his lunch first though because I ran out of the house without it this morning. : / yeesh.